Reentry Post 7 Attended Orientation for Next Crop of Fulbrighters

Because the orientation for Fulbrighters had been such a help to us, we decided to pass on what we had learned. The government paid for Del's ticket to Washington and expenses, but because in our family I am more in charge of many activities of daily living than Del is, I thought I could offer some useful information that he might not think of. So we paid for my ticket. Del and a student were the only returning Fulbrighters there, and I was the only spouse. It was made clear by one Fulbright professional that it was presumptuous of me to participate, so I would recommend that future returning spouses not attend. If you have suggestions, make a list and give it to your spouse so that he/she can refer to it during the group sessions. Why spend your own money to get your feelings hurt in public? Since I did intrude, I hope Del as the Fulbrighter and I as the trailing spouse were as helpful to the new group as the returnees were to us last year. They were certainly an interesting and gracious group, and if they are received even half as generously at their universities as we were at Klaipeda University, they will be truly blessed.

Reentry Post 6 - Lessons Learned - Travel

Twenty years or more ago, we attended the retirement party of a man who was known all over as a leader in his profession. He and his wife, who was a writer and editor, were brilliant and had traveled the world. I happened to be in an elevator with one of their adult children, and commented that the retirement trip her parents were planning sounded wonderful. She responded that she was a little worried about them. This was while they were still "young" by my present standards,and healthy of mind and body, so I said "But they have been all over the world. She replied that that was true, but because most of their travel had been work related,this was the first time they had ever been abroad when there were no hosts waiting for them.

Looking back at our travel to other countries, I realize that because each of our trips to Thailand and to Taiwan were related to Del's work,we also had people who were there to make sure there were no bumps in the road, and to be sure we saw everything and more. We were a bit more independent in Taiwan, and in Hong Kong. When David and Anita and Del and I went to Europe, we spent lots of wonderful times planning for the land part of the trip, and we did a great job, sez I as shouldn't, but Rick Steves held our hands all the way, even though he, of course, was unaware of it. We treated his guidebooks as though they were the be all and end all. We chose hotels, planned tours and transportation between Florence and Rome, rode the Rome subway at night, despite the fears of our hotel receptionist, and had a wonderful time We also learned a lot, but I was still a tentative traveler.

When we found out that Del had been given the Fulbright, I was happy for him because he had dreamed of living abroad for as long as I've known him. I was not so excited for myself, because of my less than adventurous nature, and because we had just moved less than an hour from David, Tracy and Rosa, especially Rosa. Five months seemed like the rest of my life, and when I found out I would be teaching English as a second language to faculty and staff in Del's department, I was in a panic.

But the day came, and off we went. Strange as it still seems to me, I immediately felt at home in Klaipeda. People were so kind, and were so supportive of this very frightened pretend English teacher. Turns out, five months went in a flash, but in that five months, I learned more than I could have imagined.

Of course our hosts were generous with their time and planned many interesting opportunities for us, but as we became familiar with our surroundings, we began to search out places we wanted to go and figure out how to get to them. We figured out how to get where we wanted to go on buses and trains in Lithuania and traveled to Latvia by bus. When we went to Rhodes, we felt felt comfortable taking public buses to places of interest instead of going on tours, and we went out to a festival in a small town just because we wanted to. It was great!

I don't think I will be signing up to go on the Greyhound bus anytime soon/ever, and I will probably still want to take ship tours to places far from port rather than just taking a taxi because my fear of being left behind by planes and ships is still alive and well. I think I came home a less tentative traveler, however. I don't think traveling abroad alone would ever be my choice, but I feel confident that I could do it. It's a pretty good feeling. Thanks Del for bringing/dragging me along all these years, and thanks to our friends in Lithuania for teaching me so much.

Reentry Post 5 Poor Miss Pinky

Friend Mark christened my iphone Miss Pinky after hearing that she has a shocking pink cover, and I think it was a good choice, so Miss Pinky she is.  Just so you know, if I had had to go through any sort of  adequacy test before being allowed to bring her home, she would still be in theAT&T store.  Of course, I didn't have to pass an adequacy test to bring home the baby David, either, which is probably a good thing, since I hardly knew which end to diaper.

 Since apps were what I craved, I sat down last night to order some free ones.  I don't know how it happened, I swear I don't, but somehow I downloaded an app that would have made Miss Pinky blush if she had been able.  It certainly horrified me.  Suppose I got hit by a truck before I found out how to get that thing off my phone.  What would people think of Mema Williams?  Who knew such things could be downloaded to a phone on purpose, much less by accident?  Who would want such things on their phones, anyway?  Who tends to over react?  That would be me.

I sent off an SOS to David and woke this morning to find the answer to my problem.  I had to hold down the nasty icon until it began to wobble and an X appeared. Then I touched the X and agreed that I did indeed want to delete the app.  What a relief!  I had thought I might have to wash Miss Pinky in clorox water or something.   Next time I let my fingers do the walking, I will try to be sure I know where they stop. 

Reentry Post 4 A Long Overdue Thank You

As I thought about the people who are serving our country today, I thought back to the time in 1970 when I was a 23 year old Army wife with a 4 month old baby and a husband beginning his tour in Vietnam.  We were blessed that he came home safe and sound, and we went on with our lives.  From time to time, during the years since, I have thought about the joy and comfort brought to me by people I never met, and whom I have never thanked.

Once a month, when Del's unit came in from the field for a few days, he was able to go to a special tent and wait in line to make a call home compliments of MARS.  Volunteer radio operators picked up the radio signal from Vietnam and worked their magic to turn it into a collect call from whereever in the US the signal had been picked up.  All I had to do was accept the charges, though some times the call was not made collect.  I assume the radio operator paid, but I don't know.  (Wikipedia has an informative article about this civilian auxiliary and the good work it continues to do.)

I never knew when the call would come, but since the unit usually came in once a month, I expected it would be around the same week every month,  and you could not pry me out of my apartment with a crow bar during that time.  In the day when there were no cell phones, internet, Facebook, Skype or other forms of communication so commonplace today, this was the only time a frightened young wife knew for sure her husband was alive and well.  People knew not to call me during the day, because  that was when the calls came, and I did not want to tie up the phone in the day of no Call Waiting.  The apartment got pretty clean that week, but the laundry piled up because I did not want go out to the next building to the laundry room.

Finally, the phone would ring  and I would get to talk to Del for three minutes, trying so hard to remember to say "over" so the radio volunteer would know to turn the switch or whatever had to be done to let Del talk.  After the call was over, and I had my cry, I called Del's folks and my folks to let them know all was well, and  then usually packed up David, the dirty diapers and my quarters for the trek across the parking lot to the laundry room.

There were probably 10 calls in all, and those calls meant all the world to me, but after Del got home, I got caught up in the day to day care of a child with health issues, the realization that "home" did not mean what I thought it would mean when the assignment is a training unit and then reentry to the real world of graduate school and work and all that.  I always meant to figure out how to thank the MARS people for their kindness, but I never did. It may be too late to thank some of those who helped me, but perhaps those who followed them will be encouraged to know that they were not forgotten, even though it may have seemed as though they were.  And so, a long overdue thank you MARS radio operators, past and present!  And a happy Independence Day to you all.